As 2016 reaches to an end, many of us like to reflect on the past year.
For many, looking back is a source of disappointment, sadness and wondering what they could have done differently and even better. Others look to the future and make many wishes for better times in the new year, raising concerns as to whether the future is going to be kinder than their past, setting the picture for anxiety to become the emotion of choice.
Truth is, the answer is focusing on the present, because this is what you have, right now. You can’t change the past and you can’t predict the future, but now, you can think about and evaluate your choices. You can use your past to learn from and make better choices and you can clarify what it is that you want in the future to evaluate the choices you are making now.
For those who are caught in the middle of a bitter and costly post-divorce conflict, think about what is happening now and ask yourself:
How is your conflict serving you?
What is your conflict bringing that you can’t get if you were to make peace?
A divorce/separation is about the children and money.
Is what you are doing right now, how you are using your conflict to meet your needs, bringing you what you want?
Think about what has this conflict done for you and your family so far and consider, at this rate, what will it cost for another year of this? Emotionally and financially.
Ask yourself if what you are doing now is in any way bringing your family closer or further apart and how is this affecting your children?
Are you contributing to your children’s happy childhood memory or raising children who will need to recover from their childhood?
You, and only you, have the power to make better choices now.
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