When I hear or read the word LOCKDOWN, I always picture a huge vault like door with a loud mechanical sound! How about you?
Well, I know that for the many parents who have reached out to me since the Lockdown, it means feeling at a loss dealing with their children being at home all the time.
For some parents it means juggling a normal day’s work from home, for others it means having absolutely no respite from house work, kids and homework. If that is not enough, the added responsibility of remote schooling, the panic around how will losing school time impact on their children school year and the financial uncertainty of our future has come with its fair share of added challenges, but mostly, parents have asked me the same question: How can I discipline my children under such conditions?
To begin answering this question, I would like, first, to clarify the meaning of “discipline”.
The word “discipline” originates from the Latin word disciplina which means “instruction” and derives from the root discere which means “to learn”. The word discipulus which means “disciple or pupil” also stems from this word.
It is very important to rethink this since, because for many parents, discipline is confused with control, imposing rules, and punishing. But when guiding our children, do we want to make our children feel bad about themselves or do we want to teach them how to be better equipped to face challenges and obstacles proactively and ultimately learn to make good choices for themselves?
Parents, this is what you are first and foremost to your children. You are teachers and role models who lead your children into preferred behaviours. Your kids are learning how to behave, more often than not, from you. If you are having a hard time, it is more than likely that they are too.
My Blueprint model teaches how to effectively know yourself and open your mind to your interactions with others.
When in confinement with several family members, and facing a crisis like we are now, many of us get tested with our relationships and it is perfectly okay to feel and be vulnerable.
Everyone’s experience though is different and being a positive role model does not necessarily mean that we have to hide our stresses, but it is important to remind ourselves that our responsibility towards our children is to lead them in the best way possible through the current challenges.
So here are 5 Lockdown tips to consider:
- Understand that behaviour = communication – Children do well if they can. If they are not using a positive behaviour to get what they want, they are not giving you a hard time. They are having a hard time.
- Do not focus on their behaviour, focus on their needs. – Behind every behaviour is a need that is not being met. Learn to tap into your children’s needs in that moment.
- Ask yourself: Is what I am about to say or do going to bring me closer or further apart from my chil/ren. – Will grounding them or taking away the cell phone, or trying to control their behaviour bring me closer to them or is it likely to create a greater rift between us, thus missing on a great learning opportunity?
- Consider what is within your control and what is out of your control. – The only person whose behaviour you can control is your own.
- Ask yourself: Am I a role model, to my children/ren, worth following? – Children are the product of their environment. Am I leading by example?
We live in a world where we are continually faced with difficult situations. How we respond to these situations is a choice. Our choice.
When we understand our Blueprint and why we do the things we do, we understand ourselves as a whole. We can learn to be kind and loving towards our self. From that place, we can love others well too.
Empowering yourself to empower your children is the greatest gift you can bring to them.
You can make use of the #COVID-19 PROMOTION for all your Lockdown Parenting questions.
For more info you can CONTACT us with your query.
***** And remember to SHARE & SUBSCRIBE to SADSA’s Blog! *****
– You can do so by entering your email address on this page –