My journey with Choice Theory started 10 years ago when I picked up a book from William Glasser and began my emotional awakening.
Until I started learning Choice Theory, I was pretty much living my life believing I had no, or little, choice. I grew up with a set of inaccurate and outdated beliefs and questioned little when it came to how I was feeling.
Overall I’ve always been a happy person, but I was emotionally naive and therefore often attracted emotional predators in my life.
The biggest, and most freeing, realisation I acquired was, I do have a choice, not only in what I do, but in how I feel too. Yes that’s right. We do have a choice in how we feel and how we feel is chosen!
When I thought I had no choice in my life and was feeling miserable about it, I could now change this.
So, if feeling miserable is a choice, why do we even begin to choose feeling miserable? To begin with, it must be understood that at first we are not necessarily aware that we are doing it. Every behaviour has a purpose behind which lies a positive intention. When we feel sad, we get noticed and attract sympathy and comfort so, through our misery we get people to give us the attention that we are seeking. Other times our sadness will have a purpose to make someone feel guilty about what they have done that may have caused our sadness, in this case our sadness is manipulative. Now, while feeling sad is at first a normal response to an event in our life which we are perfectly allowed to feel, remaining sad and prolonging this behaviour is no longer serving our need for expressing our grievance, it serves our need for attention from certain people or control over them.
Becoming aware of this is the first step in claiming control over your life and acknowledging that you have choices, not only over what you are feeling, but over what you are trying to get.
You can begin this process of awareness that you can choose how you are feeling by thinking about the last time you were feeling sad or upset, and ask yourself, what did you want that you were trying to get by feeling sad?
Food for thoughts.
Not making a choice, is a choice!
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