10 years ago, I became acquainted with the teachings of Dr William Glasser, the developer of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy.
This concept changed my life in that I would never go back to how I was before.
Choice Theory basically teaches that we almost always have a choice and the choices we make define the quality of our experiences/life.
If you are unhappy in your life, instead of blaming people and circumstances and be a victim of what is going wrong in your life, you can start to understand how the way you behave, through your actions and your choices, determine your experience.
While the concept is very simple, it is not that easy. Self-growth requires effort and commitment, and yes, facing your responsibilities and owning your mistakes are challenging tasks, but remaining stuck in old negative habits, choosing to rather be a victim of your circumstances to avoid taking responsibility, is a behaviour which robs you from being in charge of your life and choosing happiness, and keeps you hostage to your misery, because of something or someone.
I have applied this method to myself, my parenting and weaved into my work as a Counsellor and Divorce & Family Mediator and it has transformed my life.
What needs to be understood, is that it is not something that makes you perfect, by all means.
We are emotional beings and we can only make decisions based on the information available to us at the time. We do not necessarily have the knowledge required to make the best decisions or choices at any given time. What you ought to strive towards though, is an awareness of how to use the mistakes to learn from them and then make better choices the next time.
So, do understand that you are not alone making mistakes. Mistakes are actually healthy as they help us grow. You are not alone facing challenges and feeling fear about taking responsibility. You are not alone wanting what is best for your children and yet at a loss for what you are doing wrong. You are not alone at doing life. But once you have taken the step to become more aware, work on yourself to understand where your emotions come from, and acquire the power of letting the results of your choices be an indication of what you need to further explore or not, you will become a happier person. A person in charge of your life who will not fall to being a victim again.
As New Year is upon us, for many it’s a time when they feel that making new resolutions will set the pace for the year to come before excuses make their way to interfere with those plans.
Instead, face your fears, take responsibility, and whatever it is that you want, make it happen!
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