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In the lights of the recent news of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s divorce, we really ought to question when did the act of divorcing decide that one of the parent must become a “visitor” to their children?

The phrase: The mother has requested physical custody of the children while the father is granted “child visitation”, must raise some questions as to what family values are passed on to the children.

I can understand that a parent may encourage that following the separation they opt for a primary residence for the children, but when parents make the concerted effort to reassure their children that everything is going to be okay, separating parents should therefore understand that their new living arrangements should impact the children as little as possible and that BOTH parents will remain on equal terms involved in their children’s lives.

A divorce is the end of a relationship between 2 adults. It changes the relationship that those 2 adults had engaged in, it does not end their parental roles and responsibilities. It does not end the fact that the children naturally see their parents as mom and dad and not as primary and visitor parents. It does not dictate that it is normal for separating parents to entertain conflicts and rob their children of childhood memories.

The law doesn’t raise children, parents do!

It is time to be able to separate without having to destroy the family that once was the dream of 2 single people and now make their children the victim, not of their choice to no longer live together, but of further choosing to rob them of the experience of being able to love and be loved by both their parents.

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