It is understandable that parents who are separating, need to address the way forward in raising their children from one household to two different households and to agree on each parents’ time and means to do so.
Drawing a parenting plan and maintenance agreement assist parents to work around their life’s schedules and their children’s needs, so that there is a minimum of disruption for the children and that both parents be least inconvenienced by the inevitable changes. In other words, it assists to find a solution to the changing rhythm of a changing family.
A parenting plan and maintenance agreement is therefor NOT intended to create conflict, corner a parent financially or use the children as a bargaining tool to get one’s own way, yet when it comes to it, communication can become very aggressive and controlling.
Money is obviously a big concern in a separation, especially when there is not enough of it, however, in many cases, not enough is more an excuse for revenge, than a concern for how parents are going to keep caring for their children.
That being said, children’s maintenance come at a cost which usually remains fairly unchanged with a divorce. Kids were going to school before. Ate before. Went to extra murals and needed clothes. Caring for children separately is no different than caring for them together.
Would you consider in any way arguing or relinquishing responsibility towards “maintaining” and contributing to your children’s Manners, Values, Respect, Character, Trust, Integrity or Love?
Your separation is the end of your relationship with your partner/wife/husband. It is not the end of you being a parent or the end of a relationship the children need to keep with both their parents.
So while maintenance becomes grounds for conflict, your children are left vulnerable to parents who are distracted from their focus of caring for their children.
A Parenting Plan is not as important as Planning to be Parents!