Victim. Choice or not?

There are many support groups out there which offer support to various types of victims. These groups are valuable in that they offer a platform for a diverse kind of victims to feel safe sharing their story, feel safe connecting with other victims who have gone through a similar situation and feel safe discussing their vulnerable feelings.

These groups then fulfil a role to give a sense of belonging to the victims, which has been ripped from them, and attempt to offer enough feedback to allow victims to gain their self esteem and strength back.

As I visit many of these groups I notice a pattern whereby the victims, although very supportive of one another, do also nurture the victime mode. They communicate mainly through complaining, criticising and blaming. This pattern of communication is extremely negative and destructive and will not assist any victim to break free from their ordeal. It traps victims into talking much, but does not allow them to start listening to how to better their options and actually relinquishes them from the opportunity to look at breaking free from their ordeal.

Victims often feel they have or had no choice. Truth is, we always have a choice. Not making a choice is a choice! Letting things happen is a choice. If you choose to give up your right to make a choice, you have made a choice and every time you make a choice, you shape your life.

Victims feels they had no choice in their circumstances because, not choosing, means that what happened to them was not their fault.

When you understand that when you don’t make a choice and you simply let things happen, or you let others make choices for you, you have given up your personal power.

So what if you were offered the understanding that being a victim is unfortunate. Remaining a victim is a choice. What would you start doing differently?

Making a choice allows you to maintain your personal power. Becoming conscious that you have a choice, and being mindful of your choices, is important because it not only helps you maintain your personal power, but also to take responsibility for the outcome.

By taking responsibility, you remove yourself from the role of victim. Being a victim is a powerless position to be in as it gives you the illusion that you have no choices. To claim your personal power back, you must become aware that everything you do is a choice and accept the responsibility for those choices.

So ask yourself, although the support group offers a much needed platform to feel safe again, are you choosing to be supported as an unfortunate victim or to remain in the victim mode?