Happy Easter…Sad Easter

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Easter is around the corner and for many children around the world it means “Chocolate overload”! Yum to that!

However, for many other children, it means being in the middle of 2 parents who cannot agree on how this time will be shared with them.

Children’s life, post divorce, is stressful when their time with both their parents becomes just “Parenting Schedules”.

Special events and holidays are no different. Instead of being able to look forward to those times which create childhood memories, they learn to anticipate time of conflicts between their parents, leaving them to develop a sense of guilt from enjoying the time with the chosen parent as well as the parent they are leaving. Children only live in the present. They do not concern themselves with plans in the future, so when their present is transformed into a battlefield it is scary for them. It subjects them to high level of stress for which they haven’t got the emotional maturity to deal with and it robs them from just being kids.

Although both parents deserve their time and special holidays with their children as well, dealing with children post divorce requires for parents to consider, first and foremost, how their conflicts impact on the children.

Remember that your children did not have a say when you chose to separate. Following “legalised” parenting schedules is a road which needs to be tackled with more flexibility than rigidity. Unfortunately, being flexible is often challenged when a parent confuses their needs over their children’s needs. Parents need to understand and acknowledge that it is more about the children’s time with their parents than the parents’ time with their children.

So, as Easter is probably on your mind, you have the power to turn this time into a pleasant childhood souvenir for your children. If you are unable to be there together for your children, do not concern yourself so much whether they will be with you or not but rather involve yourself in the quality of the memory your children will be keeping.

Love is not court ordered. Your children’s future depends more on you making a plan to be parents than following a parenting plan.