SADSA’s little write up – February’16

SADSA is happy to meet you 🙂

SADSA | The South African Divorce Support Association offers an array of services relating to Relationship challenges, Divorce related issues and Parenting/Co-Parenting questions.

SADSA was Founded in 2009 after I identified a need for all the above mentioned services.

As I went through my own divorce, I was faced with very little support and very little knowledge as to what to look for, what to prepare for, how to cope with my life changing situation and mostly how to cope with my children’s own distress, and support them without hurting them further.

I chose to take up studying for a Diploma in Counselling and as I was studying I identified the many areas that I, and most everyone else going through this life changing event, was needing support and guidance in.

Step by step, I was trying and implementing my learnings within my own circumstances and experiencing how I was coping better and better with the various challenges that I had to overcome.

You are not alone

I love the quote which states that life gives you the tests before the lessons.

We strive throughout our life to learn about things in order to achieve certain goals, but truth is, nothing replaces experience. So the point of the matter is, no matter what life throws at you, it’s how you deal with it which will determine the quality of your experience.

In changing from a static way of thinking of being a victim, I embraced a broader pattern of thought. I began to take responsibility for my circumstances, and to feel empowered knowing that the choices I make, and not the things that have happened to me, are what matters.

What I understood most and seek to offer support and guidance with, is that a Divorce is not the end of your life, it is a change of direction and mostly, a divorce is not an event you need to cope with and move on from, it is your attitude to the event which needs to be re-focused.

A divorce is a painful experience in the likes of losing someone close, or going through a tragic illness, or having a terrible accident. Any “big” unfortunate life experience requires a way of thinking that is able to grow, not just to get over it, but to learn from it and make us stronger.

So whatever your challenge is today, would you say you are thinking about it in a set way or in a growing way? Are you allowing your circumstances to control your journey or on the contrary, you find yourself in charge of steering what you want your journey to look like?

Seek support during hard times, but know that only you can chose to move forward.

~ Nadia Thonnard